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Sunday, September 2nd, 2007
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job = happiness.
family = contentment.
friends = i have great ones which I am thankful for everyday.
love life = well, lets not go there. I still hope I made the right choice.
final equation:
other's happiness = my happiness? Looks like it.
Because on my own, happiness seems to elude me but as long they are happy.. maybe it won't be so bad.
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Comments: Add Your Own.
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I wish I knew you better.
I wish I could see you in agno or egi again.
I wish we can have just one more cigarette together.
I wish that one day, in that happy place we all know you're in, puwede mag yosi.
I wish I could have said see you soon, not goodbye because..
Drew, magkikita pa tayo ulit. See you bro.
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lets see, the perks of summer are: sleeping till your head hurts, watching tv till you stoop down to watch shows like fashion house, having all the time in the world to go out with your friends, getting wasted, surfing the net etc. etc.
BUT..not everything about summer is good, namely three things: being broke, eating a lot and too much alone time with yourself.
Whats wrong with having too much alone time with yourself? Well, it causes you to evaluate the things in your life that you usually brush off when theres school because you dont have the time to actually sit in a corner and think. You start to think about those stuff till you are rudely interrupted by some portion of your brain that you have to pass this and that tomorrow and you have to study for this and that. So you push it to the back of your mind and you forget all about it.
Not having this time for yourself on the surface seems good because you can brush off self issues and prolong facing it because of a valid excuse (schoolwork) but once that excuse wears off, you have no choice but to face those emo shits. Thats what happening to me right now. A lot of self evaluation, a lot of thinking and a lot of planning.
I have to realize certain things..
1. It is very easy for people to judge; its like a reflex or something. I am very guilty of being judgmental and lo and behold, some of the things that i have said before? I ate them in one big swallow. So a piece of advice, dont judge because you will never know when the time will come and you're in that situation. You will need some understanding too believe me..So, i am trying to be as non-judgmental as i possibly can. Its my new resolution.
2. Its a not a crime to be happy, to choose to be happy, to fight for your happiness. I deserve to be happy. I have gone through things in my life that people my age couldnt even imagine. But i can just hear the reply to this statement..is it right to be happy if you are robbing another person of his or her happiness? my answer..if that person is even still happy to begin with, then taking that away is wrong. but if the other person's happiness is gone, why should mine be gone too? sounds selfish? maybe i am. sometimes we have to be selfish, after all, everyone else is.
3. I miss my high school friends so much..they are just pure love for me. Whenever i have a problem, i cry and look for them because things seem to be better when im with them. I miss you guys terribly.
in line with my high school reverie..here's a poveda survey from one of my debate children, pipay..
Academics and Discipline
[X] Took home my IW
[X] Submitted all IWs on the 3rd Friday
[X] Cheated in a test
[X] Got caught cheating
[X] Texted in class
[X] Brought cellphone to school
[X] Creatively hid cellphone during inspection.
[X] Used the same issue of Didache for 1 whole year
[X] Used someone else’s Didache for 1 whole year
[X] Got an E in at least one of Mrs. Borja’s reflection papers
[X] Had an egg baby that lived till the end of the project period
[X] Had accessories for your egg like baby bonnets, etc.
[ ] Named an actor as the father of your baby
[X] Named a boyfriend or actual person as the father of your baby (Yung prom date ko..kadire!!!!! hahahahaha)
[X] Outstanding Student (for the record, gradeschool pa yung last OS award ko)
[ ] Excellence in any subject
[ ] Excellence in your chosen elective
[ ] Can still recall any maxim that isn’t “Piensa con frecuencia en el valor del tiempo.” (shit!!!! Wala na akong maalalang iba..bad trip.)
[ ] Actually read the text of Ibong Adarna
[ ] Actually read the text of Florante & Laura
[ ] Actually read the text of Noli Me Tangere
[ ] Actually read the text of El Filibusterismo
[X] Borrowed a lab gown from someone in another class
[X] Borrowed a lab gown from someone in another class without their knowing
[X] Failed a subject
[X] Took summer classes (tanginang geom yan..cathy aquino and her stupid white rubber shoes!)
[X] Studied for a test the day of the test
[X] Did not study at all for a test
[ ] Was ever a part of MTAP (my math phobia started when tina mantaring got my slot for mtap back in grade 1..traumatic sakin yun. I was never the same again..)
[X] Slept in class
[X] Slept in the AVR
[X] Slept in the MPR
[X] Slept in the Little Theater
[X] Faked dysmenorrhea to nap in the clinic
[X] Had someone else do your THE project/s for you (thank you mia for doing my crochet hanger..)
[ ] Seriously studied for Lab, Computer, or PE finals
[X] Borrowed someone else’s recorder or guitar for music – or got it from an empty classroom without permission..
[X] Killed time in the library during IW
[ ] Cut class
[X] Pretended to have a problem to play hooky in the guidance office
[ ] Got caught cutting class
[X] Had more than 10 tardies (almost didn’t march because once a week kailangan may absent ako and over 40 tardies in one term during 4th year)
[X] Ever had to talk to a teacher in the “conversation rooms” (yung mukhang confessional)
[X] Was a class officer
[X] Was a club officer (yey for two clubs and two officer positions!)
[ ] Got to school before 6am to cram for a project
[X] Left school past 8pm cramming for a project
Fun Stuff
[ ] Had a Space Maker
[X] Used a Jansport backpack
[X] Had a class jacket (we were the ones who popularized the color-coded batch jacket)
[X] Collected Lisa Frank
[ ] Was in the “Unicorn Club”
[ ] Was in the “Stamp Club”
[X] Loved the Spice Girls
[X] Loved the Backstreet Boys
[X] Loved the Moffatts
[X] Loved Hanson
[X] Threw staples in my Spanish teacher’s afro
[X] Ever sang “Count the nunal of Ms. Donato” (wrote and popularized by yours truly back in grade 4..)
[X] Played piko
[X] Played patintero
[X] Played in the batch vs. batch patintero
[X] Played Chinese garter
[X] Wore shorts under my skirt so I could play Chinese garter properly
[X] Took ballet in the Shirley Halili-Cruz School of Ballet
[ ] Took gymnastics with Teacher Weena
[ ] “Forgot” my PE uniform at home
[ ] Actually forgot my PE uniform at home
[X] Was part of the group who turned the bathroom into “The Lounge”
[X] Vandalized the bathroom doors in 2nd year
[ ] Had a Bakal Boy (WAHAHAHA.)
[X] Made takas to Galle
[X] Made takas to Galle to meet up with boys
[X] Had a prom date who was the fruit of the Xavier-Poveda interaction
[X] Still friends with the Xavierians I met at the interaction
[ ] Was a facilitator at the interaction
[X] Got jailed at any Poveda fair
[X] Went to the LaSalle Fair
[X] Went to the Ateneo Fair
[X] Went to the Xavier Fair
[X] Plucked someone’s eyebrows in class/between classes
[X] Had your eyebrows plucked in class/between classes
[X] Made friendship bracelets in class
[X] Had a kikay kit
[X] Danced during any assembly
[ ] Sang during any assembly
[ ] Led prayer at Monday general assembly
[ ] Sang the National Anthem at Monday general assembly
[X] Had a band (feeling band with paolo illustre as our manager, aka pimp daddy)
[ ] Performed at the fair
[X] De Jesus fried chicken for recess AND lunch
[X] De Jesus fried chicken with ketchup
[X] De Jesus fried chicken with gravy
[X] T-Bone
[X] Blue Marlin
[X] Blue & Gold pasta
[X] Had a mallow bar or 2 or 3..
[X] Yema from the Pastry Cart
[X] Created a mountain for a salad from the pastry cart
[X] Waited at least 20 minutes just to get said salad
[X] Bullied lower classmen in line for food by giving them the upper classman stare
[X] Had fishballs/fries after school
[X] Loved the 5 peso snowy
[X] Had a close encounter with Ms. Henny
[X] Ate at the covered walk (when there were no tables yet)
[ ] Was caught by any senior on duty doing something against the handbook
[ ] Went shopping at the Lost and Found
[X] Cried like crazy at all retreats
[X] Snuck in contraband stuff during the retreat
[ ] Got a special palanca from a special boy
[X] Cried during the batch above's Candlelight ceremony
[X] Cried during your batch's Candlelight ceremony
[X] Took pictures with Mang Baguio at graduation
[X] Drank and went wild at any batch party
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Comments: Read 6 or Add Your Own.
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Saturday, August 19th, 2006
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is it possible to hate/be angry and love someone at the same time?
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Comments: Read 3 or Add Your Own.
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Saturday, July 29th, 2006
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oh my. the past few weeks have been crazy. really, 24 hours in one day is not enough to fit everything in, you've got to sacrifice a lot in order to finish what you HAVE to do.
the last movie i watched in the cinema was X3!!? wtf? i havent seen superman or pirates. that is how bad it is now. i dont go out anymore on weekends because its either im in school or im shooting; when i get home, all i want to do is sleep.
again, where is my life?
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Comments: Read 1 or Add Your Own.
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i am just so confused. my mind is in a blur and i really dont know what to do. why does it have to be so complicated all the time?
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Saturday, June 10th, 2006
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i am officially grounded. for a month i think.
last night my mom caught me ridding on the back of a pick-up truck, drunk. to add more to that, she also saw everyone else in that same state. two cars of drunk teenagers, did not rate very high in my mom's book.
and i quote: "punyeta ka adie! how old are you? 20 ka na and you still act like a teenager! napaka irresponsible mo! punyeta."
hahahahaha! i was bummed at first but im laughing now. first of all, i still consider myself a teenager and second, i am definitely not irresponsible.
oh well! but hey, i had a GREAT time! hahahahaha. I swear, the stupid things i do with my friends just make me feel like everythings just perfect, even for that fleeting time :)
but what sucks is that i couldnt go to isabel's baptism but god knows she was and will always be in my prayers, just like her mom, my friend and colleague aye. i am so proud of her. i still remember the day she called me up and told me she was having a baby. i broke down and cried right in the steps of egi with trina. i felt scared for her but at the same time marveled at her courage. idol talaga kita aye and i will always be here for you, the baby and si chubs narin. in my heart kasi i am her ninang :) i love you both..
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dammit. its been YOU all along and i have a feeling it will ALWAYS be you.
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Comments: Read 5 or Add Your Own.
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Wednesday, May 17th, 2006
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just came back from baguio and batangas and it was perfect. a great way to end my summer after going to boracay and puerto galera :)
it was effin cold in baguio..estimated temperature? 10-15 degrees..goddamit. ang feeling ko pa, i only brought slippers kasi sabi ko, hello! summer ngayon, im sure di masyadong malamig dun..ayan. my feet was numb practically the entire time i was there. the only thing that gave me warmth was my hello kitty blanket courtesy of burnham park and the bottle of absinthe (sp) tess brought (i now know why its illegal in other countries..toxic).
highlights of baguio and batangas:
- the cold
- the seventies styled house we stayed in, parang nag time travel kami
- bulalo at 2 am
- absinthe (sp)
- walking down session road
- getting soaked in the rain while walking towards sm baguio and feeling the wind blow..pota. brrrr..
- starbucks camp john hay: beautiful
- boat ride at burnham park (made me feel like a kid again)
- bike ride--i dont know how to ride a real bike so i chose a small three wheeled one and as i was biking down the road, two girls half my size and age yelled: "ate! ang laki mo na para sa bike na yan!" hahahahahahaha..laugh trip.
- buying my hello kitty blanket
- getting a free kfc tumbler (i got tenderheart bear!)
- getting so wasted two nights in a row
- camera whoring
- watching the simpsons with my barkada
- "good time" with michi and master smoker primo! hahahahahaha..bitin! ang bakaw kasi ni mope.
- major food trip in jolibbee
- upstream-downstream drinking game
- slap jack strip game
- the dice game
- cielo, sammie, jamoy, drel and jendee
- enrico, carl, karl, jl, moony, jp, ralph
if only it could always be that way..chill lang, walang bad vibes, no worries of papers, tests, thesis, etc. haaay..wishful thinking. but then again, if these things happened all the time, i would have nothing to look forward to.
here's to my best summer and to everyone i have shared it with! i love you guys :)
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Comments: Read 2 or Add Your Own.
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Wednesday, April 26th, 2006
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i just came home for bora and that place never ceases to surprise me. :) i am now dark. mukha akong ampon dahil buong pamilya ko maputi..hahahaha. but i still love it!
a lot of things happened in bora, some are not quite good but it was fun nonetheless; wouldnt trade it for anything in the world..by the way, manggas sucks like hell! what the hell happened? stupid kurimao invasion..
anyway, its back to work for me. i just realized that i actually dont have a summer vacation to speak of. i will be busy doing sc work; started with a meeting/courtesy call to the dean and vice dean and tom, team building for the batch assembly and the next few weeks will be devoted to planning the lpep, seminars and fund raising projects. its kicking in..i have to work but at least, its work that i enjoy and i know that in the long run, a lot of people will benefit from it so sugod mga kapatid!
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Wednesday, April 19th, 2006
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im leaving for bora tom! :) woohoo!!!! i will be lobster red for sure..
im really excited! we've been waiting for this trip ever since the day we left boracay last summer and we're coming back my lovely beach..
gotta pack, see you all in a week :)
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1. i have been on break for five days now. sleep has never felt this good :)
2. tomorrow is course card day. i have received the spirit of acceptance. no matter what happens, i trust in God that in the end, it is for the best. im saying this not to make myself feel better in case that i do fail that subject but a while ago in church, i realized that if i do fail,at least i can look at myself in the mirror and not be ashamed. i did everything; i gave everything and a million times i have thought to just drop the subject but i still fought and i am proud of that. so bring it on groyon! i learned a lot and i still think you're a great prof no matter what grade i get.
3. i just finished going over the rules of internal governance and our GOSM for the upcoming school year then it hit me. Student council na pala ako. I know for some it may not be a big deal but looking back at how much the campaign and the elections took out from me, grabe. i have never felt more exhausted in my life. i juggled the campaign and elections with my subjects, (which by the way, by consensus,is the hardest combination of subjects possible)a relationship, (which has ended) and other obligations to friends, family and god. trakte! mahirap yun. but though my grades suffered and it was the start of our problems, i believe it was all worth it. in the 20 years of my life, i can consider this my biggest acheivement. i actually found my purpose, dramatic as it sounds. and in the risk of sounding like a traditional politician, i will do everything in my power to actually instigate change in the lasallian community. our campaign vision was "instigating change through a redefined identity" and pakshet yan! im going to do just that. sometimes i just cant believe it..legislative assembly representative nako! people see me as just another tambay in egi, pa-yosi yosi lang, patapon but hey, im ok in having that image because it is true. i smoke, i party a lot, i have my other vices but what is lacking from that image is that there is more to me than just that and this coming year, they're going to see it and im super excited to work for the student council, especially for my batch and for the legislative assembly.
4. from my number three, i learned that in life, you cant have it all. as my wise mom told me, "anak, you won the elections but you lost ------, you cant have everything." masakit marinig pero totoo. everything has a price, nothing comes for free. you lose something and gain another; this is what we call balance. and its up to you to either wallow in what was lost or be grateful for what you have. i choose the second option. i am moving on from another heartbreak not because i have to anymore but because i want to. i have a lot in store for me in the coming days and i choose to focus on that. i want to have fun with my friends, spend time at home, start my work in the sc and get high grades again. may panahon pa ba ako mag drama at umiyak? pakshet! wala na noh. im sure he'll be in the perimeters of my mind (operative word, perimeters, meaning a small fraction of my thoughts) and i will always think of why it didnt work out but i'll let time deal with that.
5. from my number four, to be perfectly honest, i miss him. i miss him everyday since. like the pathetic loser i am when it comes to these kinds of things, everytime my fone beeps, i cant help but wish it was a message from him and everytime that it isnt, a wave of disappoinment crashes on me. pathetic diba? to say i am over will be a lie but to wallow as i said earlier will be blatant stupidity. i still believe that we're not over-wrong timing lang talaga. and in the future if he does come back, i'll say yes. but for now..hehe..its time for Mr. Right Now..joke lang!
6. speaking of finding Mr. Right Now, can boracay be anymore perfect for that? hahahaha! yes my darling, i am coming back. after one year, i have missed you! wooohooo!!! we're leaving for bora on wednesday and be back the next week. lima na kaming ocho na pupunta and im so excited! kulang ang pc para mapakita ko ang excitement. beautiful beach, wonderful friends, great food, party all night, sunsets and the sky full of stars..perfect! three more days.. :)
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Comments: Read 1 or Add Your Own.
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just when you let your guard down and open yourself to the possibility of being loved..
he breaks your heart..
the weekend before finals.
i want to sleep because its only there wherein it doesnt hurt but i cant. i have to work and pretend im ok or else im going to fail
why does it have to be so hard? can i please just be numb?
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Comments: Read 2 or Add Your Own.
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my god. it still cant believe it..its over. after a month of planning and two weeks of campaigning (equals to no sleep), tapos na.
mixed emotions because even if i won, my executive board and one of my running mates didnt..ang sakit sobra, parang natalo narin ako.
i couldnt stop crying after the results were said. im sad, im confused..lahat na ng emotions na pwedeng maramdaman,naramdaman ko na but the students have spoken and even if on my part i believe that they made a mistake, i will have to work with what i was given. its time for work.
i promised my executive board that i will never relent. i will fight for what santugon believes in and i will definitely fight for the students.
to everyone who supported me and gave me the strength, especially during the times na i thought di ko na kakayanin, a heartfelt thank you. words are insufficient to express my gratitude and appreciation. my santugon family, from the execom to hanna and ankie, to my running mates (i love you guys so much) missy, carla and ken, the entire CLA slate (FAST 03 and 05), all our campaign officers, my blockmates (LR 17-the best block a person can ask for), ocho/bf boys..basta lahat kayo! This one's for you guys. And to those who didnt believe that i could and tried to bring me down..tangina niyong lahat! hahahahaha, joke lang, i will prove you wrong, promise.
and once again, i am adie timbol, your NEW legislative assembly representative. whoa!!!! parang di totoo..
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Comments: Read 4 or Add Your Own.
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Friday, February 24th, 2006
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the country is in chaos and i am doing this:
Adventure man
You scored 70% masculine, 41% athletic, 63% exotic, and 37% refined! |
| You like a man who doesn't need the crazy muscles to prove he is a 100% man. He is mysterious and his pictures make you want to jump into his head to see what is going on in there...or his pants I suppose. You like a little bad-ass in him and you may like someone like.....Jude Law. But let's face it, the whole point of this was to look at a bunch of hot guys. If you liked what you saw, please rate my test! |
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My test tracked 4 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:
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You scored higher than 80% on masculine |
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You scored higher than 3% on athletic |
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You scored higher than 86% on exotic |
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You scored higher than 21% on refined |
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Comments: Add Your Own.
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Wednesday, February 15th, 2006
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after a year of uncertainty, i have finally found clarity.
thank you lord.
i am in a happy place. i am happy now
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Wednesday, February 8th, 2006
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my head is literally spinning.
i have never worked this hard in my life. theres always something to do.. concept proposals, videos, radio programs, tests, papers or trainings/meetings.
it just never stops. i am burned out. during the day, i would wish that i can just drop dead. i would be in school by 8 am for my first class and leave at 9 pm. today is a blessing na; to be home by 6.
last term was nothing comapred to this!
tangina yan! thank god for great friends who manage to make me alive in school..ocho, trina and stacy, and the com-arts people.
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Comments: Read 1 or Add Your Own.
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Wednesday, February 1st, 2006
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| Subject: | lie |
| Time: | 9:24 am. |
| Mood: |  sad. | | Music: | southern girl-incubus. |
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fighting how you feel for someone is probably one of the hardest things to do in life. you lie to yourself everyday. you lie to the people around you, convincing them as you try to convince yourself that you're ok but in the end, its all a big fucked up lie.
i love you and not even once did i stop.
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Saturday, January 28th, 2006
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![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
amaia's journal
blank.
nostalgic.
hungry.
exhausted.
calm.
excited.